Finding Strength in Grief

Introduction

The death of someone you love can bring you into a very weak season. For one, there are a lot of tasks that suddenly come up and bring changes to everyday life. Additionally, grief brings a lot of things to emotionally process. 

God never prohibits us from having emotions like anger, tears, fear, or deep sadness. He also wants us to ask any spiritual questions we have when our faith is shaken by circumstances. However, He does not want us to be defeated, continually disturbed, and disarmed by negative thoughts coming out of emotionally processing spiritual struggles.

Everyone experiences negative thoughts, especially in chaotic times. However, the negative thoughts often seem stronger and more compelling when you’re grieving. I think this happens because when someone is grieving, they become emotionally exhausted, which can quickly lead to spiritual, mental, and even spiritual exhaustion.

Losing hope happens to everyone at some point. Everyone reaches points of spiritual exhaustion when things feel too hard and you realize that your own strength only extends so far. It’s normal to realize that you are not strong enough. It is what we choose to do when hope seems lost that decides whether we find strength or remain weak.

The truth is that God has a plan that gives you individually a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). When you feel like hope is gone, it is time to fight that lie by examining your negative thoughts and reclaiming God’s promises for you.

Where the Lies Come From

When you’re struggling with negative thoughts or any type of temptation, social struggle, or circumstantial mishap, it’s because there is a real enemy who stands against anything God does. 

Satan’s first appearance is in the garden of Eden when he persuades Eve to disobey God. Throughout time, his mission is ‘to steal [away God’s people] and kill and destroy,’ which is the opposite of God’s agenda ‘to give them a rich and satisfying life.’ (John 10:10, NLT)

Sadly, injustice, tragedy, and disasters are evidence that Satan is still at work in the world today. He wants to weaken the people God has chosen to redeem, harm the church, and keep people who have already turned away from God from finding redemption. Any spiritual, mental, physical, or emotional suffering you are facing is very real and hard.

The Good News

The most encouraging news in any suffering you experience is that God has already won. From the moment He rose from the dead, Satan no longer had any power over you as soon as you accepted Jesus as your Savior (Editor’s Note: To learn more about what it means to accept Jesus as your Savior, please visit our Statement of Faith.). Separating you from God is something the Enemy always wants to do, but victory has already been declared. Paul says it like this in Romans:

‘Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.’

-Romans 8:39 (NLT)

God will always be with us as we fight to keep harmful thoughts from impacting our minds. He also fights for us and provides for us in physical circumstances, even though we often only recognize His work in retrospect. 

Strength Comes from God

Ultimately, the reason why everyone reaches the thought that they are not strong enough to get through something is because we are not - alone. God wants us to be fully dependent on Him because He alone is strong.

Even Paul, writer of most of the New Testament letters and one of the first foreign missionaries, struggled with opposition from Satan that he describes as ‘a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me’ (1 Corinthians 12:7b, NLT). 

He also experienced a lot of physical struggles because he moved several times a year, was frequently persecuted by the people he was trying to help, and generally worked on a low income.

Despite all the struggles he endured, he tells the church in Philippi that ‘I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.’ (Philippians 4:12-13)

Only Christ was strong enough to bear all of the pain, individual struggles, and collective struggles we face in this life. This means that when you don’t feel strong enough to get through something, you don’t have to feel guilty about that. All you need to do is realize that

‘I don’t have to be strong enough.’ (Lyric from ‘Strong Enough’ by Matthew West, see Endnote 1 for full source information)

and ask God to give you the strength you need. 

When you ask God to be your strength, you are acknowledging that you cannot navigate the situation you’re in by trying harder or taking specific actions alone. 

You’re acknowledging that you need a rescue and that ultimately nothing is possible without God. Part of Isaiah 42:5 reminds us that because ‘He [God] gives breath to everyone, life to everyone who walks the earth,’ (NLT) even a single heartbeat is impossible without Him. When you pray with this kind of understanding, He will always answer with provision and the strength you need for each moment of your life. He will give you the strength to hang on for this moment and every moment after.

The Tools He Gives: the Armor of God

In addition to prayer and dependence on Him, God has passed instructions to us through Paul on how to actively resist Satan’s attempts to steal from us, kill us, and destroy us.

In Ephesians 6, Paul writes:

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

-Ephesians 6:10-18 (NLT)

The Battle

The first few verses of that passage describe the spiritual nature of every strength-draining time you face as a daily battle. The description starts with the comforting fact that God is strong and mighty.

It’s also important to remember that we must choose to wear the armor. In verse 11, Paul told us that God gave us the armor, but we have to choose to use the strength He gives us. Without it, we cannot possibly withstand temptation, condemning thoughts, pain, failure, and other suffering.

Verse 12 points out that we aren’t fighting against a specific person or nation, but against Satan, who is determined to draw us away from God.

When Paul is talking about how to resist the Enemy, he is comparing spiritual tools we need to the armor the people of Ephesus would have seen many times. Roman armor had to be strong so that foot soldiers could expand the Empire’s territory. Ours must be strong too because our enemy is powerful.

Truth

On Roman armor, the belt had the same use it has today, keeping an outfit secure so you can move freely. In the same way, truth anchors us. When all sorts of thoughts and claims about who you are spin through your mind, the set of claims that are true are the ones that come from God.

Several Old Testament writers proclaim that God alone is true. A psalmist even begs God not to ‘snatch your word of truth from me, for your regulations are my only hope’ (Psalm 119:43, NLT) and David asks for God to guide him by His truth several times.

What they know experientially is confirmed by Christ when He says that ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.’ (John 14:6, NLT)

Just like accepting Jesus as your lord and savior is the only path to eternal life, the only secure way to live in this world is by living in God’s truth to the best of your ability.

As a lyric I like says,

‘On Christ the solid rock I stand. 

All other ground is sinking sand. 

No matter what, I will not be shaken

The rains may come, the winds may blow

But I will still be still and know

This house is built on You

My foundation’

(My Foundation by Jordan St. Cyr., See endnote 2 for complete source information)

This is true whenever you live according to God’s promises by seeking to obey His commands and seek to look at yourself, others, Heaven, and the world around you the way He does.

God’s Righteousness

A breastplate was a piece of metal designed to protect the heart. In the same way, living righteously protects the heart.

A dictionary defines righteousness as ‘doing what is right’ (See Endnote 2 for source information). Like all truth, God defines the definition of right. Throughout the Bible, God is called righteous many times.

In the Bible, righteousness is ‘to walk in close fellowship with God’ (Genesis 6:9, NLT) as Noah (the first person called righteous) did. More objectively, Luke 5:32 indicates that righteousness is the state of being right with God and without sin. 

In the Old Testament, Moses declared that ‘we will be counted as righteous when we obey all the commands the Lord our God has given us.’ (Deuteronomy 6:25, NLT) In Romans, Paul comments on the fact that in the Old Testament, people are counted as righteous. They are not completely righteous. Only God does what is right all the time. 

Paul explains that because of what Jesus did for us, ‘people are [still] counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.’ (Romans 4:5, NLT)

Faith, in this context, is simply to ‘believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.’ (Romans 4:24b, NLT) Instead of following all of God’s commands perfectly (which is impossible), God has made us right in His eyes. 

How does doing right and believing in Jesus help one resist the devil? In 2 Corinthians 6:6-8, Paul answers by sharing that ‘by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love’ (verse 6, NLT) - which are all ways God calls us to live rightly - we prove that the truth we live by is real.

In other words, the authenticity of who God says He is is proven to the world based on how you and I live. Righteousness serves as a defense to all the people in the world watching to see whether Christianity is true and it serves as a way to defend our own faith. 

When your actions put God’s way first, then they'll remind you to keep looking to His truth as your anchor. In other words, doing what the Bible says to do is crucial to prevent the Enemy from having any hold over you. 

We’re not called to strive for impossible perfection. However, we are called to live the way our Father wants us to, seeking Him with our thoughts, words, and actions.

If you’ve seen God use your moments of obedience to Him through your actions to do good for other people around you, remember those times. Let those times serve as a truth to encourage you that your actions matter and that God is using your life for His good purposes. Your life is precious to Him. Find strength in the promise that living for God positively impacts everyone around you, whether they tell you that or not.

Peace from Gospel

Good shoes are important for everyone. For a soldier, they would have been essential because a secure foothold meant that they could have the balance to defend themselves well. By using shoes to talk about peace, Paul suggests that the Gospel provides a foundation for us to stand upon no matter the ground around us.

The Gospel is the message that Jesus made a way for us to be completely restored and healed, despite the destruction each human generation has created for themselves. We can only be right with Him and have eternal life in Heaven because He died for all of humanity.

This message provides us with a peace no one can steal away. Eternally, if you accepted Christ, you will be in the presence of God in Heaven someday. In our lives today, nothing can separate us from God’s protection and love.

In the book Heaven, Randy Alcorn describes what he calls ‘a macroscopic view of scripture.’ He uses the analogy that life here on Earth is a small, microscopic dot compared to the eternity in front of us. On God’s timeline, 50-70 years (give or take a few decades) of suffering and exposure to evil, is nothing compared to the billions we will spend in His Presence. [See endnote 4 for source info]

This analogy isn’t meant to say that life on Earth does not matter. It absolutely does! What we do here on Earth impacts eternity for the people around us and for ourselves.

In the temporary experience of suffering and evil, it’s crucial to be strong through the dot, awaiting the bright line to come.

‘Be strong through the dot’ doesn’t mean we need to try to survive hard times on our own. It means that we rely on God in every second to give us the capacity to live out the purpose He has for us even when it’s hard.

Faith

Paul describes faith as a shield to illustrate the fact that faith can protect us from falling prey to many of the Enemy’s lies. Like a soldier can move around a shield to protect themselves from threats, depending on where the threats are coming from, applying faith to doubt we face from any side helps us defend ourselves.

Doubt is a normal experience. It’s completely okay to bring doubts to God about who He is or how He will work in a situation you are in. You can ask Him for faith and for Him to reveal who He is to you. It is when doubt starts to tempt you to turn away from God that you absolutely must fight.

Hebrews 11:1 says that ‘Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen.’ (VOICE) The writer of Hebrews uses Abraham as his example of what this looks like. 

Abraham trusted God to fulfill the promise that He would make him the father of a nation, even though he had no son, no Bible to remind him of when God had been faithful before, and no person in his life telling him God would carry out His promises. Like Abraham, sometimes we have to trust God to be our strength and fulfill His promises even when the situation we’re in is hard, there seems to be no human reasoning to prove what God has promised, and trusting God doesn’t make sense. 

Faith is to be absolutely certain of what you do not see in reality yet. God is with you in your present moment, He is strengthening you right now, He has a good plan for your life on Earth, and He promises that everything will be okay in the long run. These are only a few of the promises we must ask God for the faith to cling to.

Salvation

A helmet protected a soldier’s head, just like helmets protect construction workers and bikers today. In the same way, salvation is meant to protect the mind. 

Paul mentions the helmet of salvation again in 2 Thessalonians when addressing how to respond to the world’s darkness. He says, ‘let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.’ (2 Thessalonians 5:8, NLT)

Then, he explains that salvation is the fact that ‘God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ … [who] died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever.’ (2 Thessalonians 5:9a, 10, NLT) Salvation is the only eternal rescue. God offers it to everyone.

If you have accepted His gift, then you have already been rescued from eternal destruction. What you face now is temporary. It’s painful, but it does not last forever. This means that you have a reason to be joyful and patient even in the midst of struggles. You can let your spiraling mind anchor in the truth that God loves you, is with you, and will always always be.

Word of God

The Word of God is the only piece to resisting the devil that is paired with an object designed for offense. A shield, breastplate, helmet, shoes, and belt were all meant to protect the person wearing them. A sword is meant to protect the person wielding it by allowing them to weaken their enemy before their enemy even gives them a blow to endure. 

Jesus demonstrates how to use the word of God to resist the devil’s lies when He experiences temptation in Matthew 4. Each time the Enemy presents a lie that sounds pleasing, Jesus responds with a line of scripture. In the third temptation, the Enemy even tries to use scripture to disguise a lie. Jesus recognizes the misconstrued meaning in the verse used and quotes a line of scripture proving the opposite.

Just like Jesus demonstrates, we have to have a solid understanding of what the Bible says in order to fight using the word of God. 

The Most Practically Formidable Weapon

After describing the armor of God, Paul includes another note about resisting the devil:

‘Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.’ (Ephesians 6:18, NLT)

God has already provided defense for us, but He also does not leave us to fight alone. We can talk with Him in struggles and call to His Spirit and His authority for help in any situation you face or any lie you are struggling to fight off.

Conclusion

All of the spiritual help God gives to us (truth, righteousness, peace from the Gospel, faith, salvation, His Word, and someone to call on in prayer) are things we must choose to use. Just like a soldier had to make the choice to put on his armor, but would have to fight the battle whether he chose to wear the armor or not, to fight with God’s protection is a life-giving choice. I hope you choose daily to stand in faith, claim scripture as true, and trust God and give all your struggles to Him. Let Him be your strength in everything you face. 

This may sound like a lot to do and it is, but when things feel so our of your control, it is because they never were. Focus on the moment you are in right now and ask God for the strength to persevere to the next one.

He truly will be all that you need.

Endnotes: 

Endnote 1: 

Matthew West, ‘Strong Enough’, The Story of Your Life, Sparrow Records, 2010

Endnote 2:

Jordan St. Cyr., ‘My Foundation’, My Foundation, BEC Recordings, 2024

Endnote 3:

Endnote: David B. Guralnik (General Editor), Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second Concise Edition, New York City: Simon and Schuster, 1979

Endnote 4:

Analogy obtained from audio broadcast quoting Dr. Alcorn

Chip Ingram, ‘Understanding Why Heaven Matters: Part 2’, Living on the Edge, March, 16, 2022, Christian audio broadcast, 20:05 to 20:41, https://youtu.be/fvF0kO-0kkU?si=-9xffV64tFeC-pSg